I'm ready.

Making plans

Last Call

We closed the bar.

I can't even remember the last time I did that 

I had the strangest cabbie on the ride home.

That was my first time in a cab, at 27yo.

It was a van, though, so I didn't get the full experience.

I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.

Stand By Me

I need a crystal ball.
Or a legitimate psychic.

I just need to see where I'm going to be in 5 years. 
I'd even be willing to only see 2 years.

How am I supposed to make decisions about my life and the path I'm on if I have no idea where I'm going?

Is there something or someone out there more fulfulling for me?  For him?
Will all the pieces fall into place as soon as we're released from each other?
Or are we supposed to stay where we are, ride out the storm and see what manifests?
I'm exhausted because once we weather one storm, here comes another.
Constant setbacks.
Past behaviour is an indicator of future behaviour.

How do people make huge decisions?
LIFE decisions, not just huge decisions.
I've made a few life changing decisions in my time.
I am better and worse because of those choices.

I wish there was a re-do button.
But there is no rewind, no take backs.
There's no way to see into the future.
And that is why people stay where they are.
Because it's easier to be unhappy than it is to be alone.

I just realized, you're the highlight of my day.

Your goo-goo gaa-gaa love shit makes me absolutely vomit. You'll change your tune once reality sets in. And don't worry, it will.

Full Circle

I read over my old blog.
I do this everytime I come back to resurrect it.

No lie...
I am in a similar position as I was last year.
Some of the same people.
Some of them new.

Some things never change.
They just come full circle.

However, some things DO change.
[Not people, though.  You cannot change people.]
But my art!
It's matted and framed.
And expensive.
To be hung this week at HMAC.
So people will buy it.


I hope my pieces can find good homes.
I'm about [thisclose] to becoming a stripper for the money.

Really?

It's been almost a year since I posted.
Really?
I have this problem...
Where I can't stick with ANYTHING.

I think being married to Husband is the longest thing I've done.
Well, besides being alive.
[Now I feel like I need to delete that - like it's some death sentence.]

BUT IT IS STAYING.