Woken up at 8:30am by Lucy's bark alarm.
Getting 6hrs of sleep lately seems to be the norm.
Seems to also be causing me anxiety.
I have so many thoughts running through my head.
I can't write them down fast enough.
I often compare my crazy brain to the ground floor of the NY Stock Exchange.
This is my attempt at clearing the air in my noggin.
I am constantly striving for approval from certain people.
I don't know if it's so much approval/acceptance... I'm not sure what it is.
But it's driving me crazy and I feel sort of out of control.
I come across as a sarcastic asshole.
Trying to hard to be impressive.
Busting out all the moves.
WHY?
There is some sort of strange tension that I'm afraid to name.
I don't know if its felt by the other person.
It's not a matter of pursuing anything.
There are several cons to the person involved.
Maybe I am just seeking attention, and like a child, negative attention is still attention.
I feel obsessed, anticipatory, anxious and jealous.
I know some of these things are noticeable to other people.
Game plan: self control.
Take it down a notch.
Treat said person(s) as I would anyone else.
Save my energy; put any extra energy into the relationships that need it.
And there are definitely some relationships that need it.
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